Why is my Grandma So Mean?
As children, our older family members, like grandmas, are often a source of love, care, and comfort. For many, the relationship between a grandchild and grandparent can include light-hearted mischief and fond memories. But what if your grandma acts like she doesn’t have time for you, or worse, treats you with unkindness? It’s natural to feel hurt, confused, and maybe even a little angry. But in order to understand your grandma better, it’s important to understand her behavior.
Possible Reasons Why Your Grandma is Mean
She is going through a tough time. Grandmas, like everyone, have tough times and bad days. Unfortunately, tough times can cause negative behaviors that are taken out on others.
She has a different way of communicating. Not everyone expresses their emotions in the same way. Perhaps your grandma’s unkind words stem from her desire to protect or help you, or are in response to how she was raised.
She is afraid. Grandmas often respond with extreme behaviors when they feel like their authority is being threatened or they are feeling vulnerable.
She trained to see her grandchildren as adults. From a young age, your grandma may have been trained to see and treat grandchildren as adults rather than children. This can manifest in harsh behavior such as shaming, and can make you feel as if your grandma doesn’t love or care for you.
A Few Things To Consider
- Talk to your parents or another trusted adult Your parents may have the best insight into what has gotten your grandma so frustrated. Ask for assistance in communicating with her, understanding her behavior, and developing solutions as a family.
- Show ResponsibilityIt is important to respect your grandma’s feelings and needs by apologizing for behaviors that may have offended her. Showing respect for her point of view and responsibilities can help her to see that you are capable of being a trusted adult.
- Put Yourself First You can be with your grandma without having to accept her unkindness. In situations like these, it’s important to put yourself and your wellbeing first. If your grandma’s behavior is never changing and you feel like an outcast or an unwelcome presence in her home, you may need to find ways to limit your contact with her or create boundaries so your relationship can thrive.
It can be hard to understand why your grandma has become mean. Understand it may be the result of many complicated factors. While you may not be able to fix the situation overnight, it is important to take a step back and talk to trusted adults to help you sort through the situation and find a solution.
4. Are there any socio-cultural or generational factors that could be causing her mean behaviors?
Yes, there are several socio-cultural and generational factors that could be causing her mean behaviors. Some of these factors include things like the cultural values she is exposed to, the family dynamics she has experienced, peer influences, media influences, and the generational lines she is a part of. All of these can affect how she perceives the world and how she behaves. In addition, she may also be influenced by her own internal processing of her experiences which can contribute to her displaying mean behaviors.