Why Does My Daughter Hate Me?
A parent-child relationship is one of the most important relationships in life and the bond between a daughter and her mother is often one of the strongest. Yet, even in loving families, there can be moments of tension or strife when a daughter appears to not just be disobeying her mother but to hate her. Here are some of the reasons why a daughter might have resentment towards her mother, and what a mother can do to bring the relationship back to a loving one.
Imitating a friend
Often, if a daughter notices that one of her friends is talking back to her mother or having altercations with her, she may try to imitate her behaviour in order to be more accepted by her social circle. This is a time where a mother must stay calm and assertive and remind her daughter of the behaviors expected in a respectful and loving home.
Unmet Expectations
Growing up, a daughter may feel overwhelmed by expectations from her mother, or that her mother is too strict or controlling. During this transition from childhood to teenage years, it’s essential that parental boundaries are clear but flexible enough to accommodate the changing needs of a maturing daughter.
Holding a Grudge
Sometimes, even in the closest of families, a daughter may resent her mother for past decisions or behaviour. A daughter may remember fights and arguments, or moments of verbal or even physical aggression that occurred between them during a difficult period in their relationship.
Communication Is Key
To bridge these gaps, it is important that a mother remains devoted and loving, while creating an environment in which her daughter is comfortable to open up and express her feelings and concerns. Here are some tips:
- Treat her with respect: Listen to her opinions and ideas and take her seriously.
- Stay calm: When talking about difficult subjects, keep your emotions in check and remain focused on the topic.
- Show understanding: Give her time to process her feelings and don’t expect an immediate resolution.
- Be honest: It’s ok to expose your vulnerabilities and frustrations too, so long as it’s done in a constructive manner.
When communication is honest and thoughtful, the mother-daughter bond can be strengthened and both parties will feel much happier and fulfilled. With dedication, patience and love, a mother and daughter can work through their issues and find strength in their relationship.
“How can I improve my relationship with my daughter if she hates me?”
1. Try to communicate and listen more. Let her know that you care and that you are there if she needs you. Ask her how you can help her and be open to her answers.
2. Acknowledge and validate her feelings – even if they are negative. Don’t invalidate her emotions, instead try to understand her viewpoint.
3. Ensure her of your love. Remind her that you love her and that you are always there for her no matter what.
4. Spend quality time together. Make time for activities and conversations that will help build your relationship.
5. Focus on the positive. Find moments to celebrate and praise her.
6. Apologize when necessary. Take responsibility for any mistakes you have made and apologize for them.
7. Seek professional help. If the situation is beyond your control, considering seeking out a counselor or therapist to help you work through the issues.